Yesterday, I came across a quote that I had heard before, maybe about a year ago. It was this: “When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe, then you will be successful.” It is from a youtube video that a friend posted on her Facebook page. You can watch a version of it here. This led me to a blog post that I remember Steve writing, where he referenced the same video. You can read that here.
Anyway, it got me to thinking. Around this time last year, I was trying to decide if I wanted to train for CrossFit competitions. It felt like a big decision at the time. I was trying to figure out what I really wanted for myself apart from what I thought other people wanted. I went back and forth, hung out in no man’s land for a while, and eventually decided that I wanted to give it a shot. I knew I wanted to train, but it was (and still is) hard for me to want something that feels bigger than what I actually feel I am capable of, like the CrossFit Games, for example.
As I was reading through my past blog posts and journal entries yesterday, I started to wonder if I have lost focus or gotten soft in my commitment… or if it is just that I have gotten used to this way of training, so it doesn’t feel as new and crazy as it did when I first started. I don’t know. While I think competing in the Games would be amazing, I figure I must not want it enough to give it everything, because I don’t… not everything. I know there are things that I choose not to give up to be a better athlete. I love training. It’s fun and challenging, and this past year has, without a doubt, changed me. Maybe I’m just afraid of wanting more, afraid to give up things, afraid of failing. Maybe I’m just ok with how things are. Sometimes I am and sometimes I’m not.
Another quote comes to mind. It’s from a documentary that Jeff and I watched quite some time ago about mountain climbing. The guy who said it, Yvon Chouinard, ended up founding the outdoor brand, Patagonia, and his tone was completely casual and great. He said this about climbing mountains: “So its kinda like the quest for the holy grail… well, you know, who gives a shit what the holy grail is? The quest is what’s important. The transformation within yourself… that’s what’s important.” I love this, and think it is true. I believe it is very important to have goals and dreams, and that we become changed people by chasing after our heart’s desires, whether we actually make it or not.
What I can say for sure is that I am thankful to be on the journey I’m on, and for the transformations that have taken place. Sometimes I worry that I am going backward… that I once had things more together than I do now. I’m not so sure this is possible though. I think we are always moving forward (even if it’s slow going), learning from our past. Hopefully. That’s all I got.
My workouts today–
5 min. SMR, mobility, dynamic
1. PT: Glute/VMO
2. General Warmup: none
3. Specific Warmup: 3×10 wall squat, 2×10 squat jump, 2×5 tuck jump
4. WORKOUT: Clean practice
1x through @ training bar (15#)
1x @ empty barbell (25#)
3×10 @ 30% full ROM (range of motion) (45#)
1x @ training bar
1x @ barbell
3×10 @ 30% Full ROM (same weights as Clean)
5. Supplemental: none
6. Cool Down: 5 min. easy v-climb 2-3 hard efforts
4pm: Group Class
KB Swings (35#)
time: 7:18 … lets just say I crushed it, Elliott 😉